Paladini Potpie

Adventures within The Crust!


The Advent of The Grammar Grouch

Today I’d like to introduce a guest author who may be writing on this blog from time to time. Please make the acquaintance of The Grammar Grouch.

She lives inside my head, keeping up a constant mumbling monologue about the decline of the English language – “lol, thx FB!”

She laughs at the stupidity of misused homophones – “We got a peak at the peek as we thru a glance threw the window.”

(And we’re not even going to talk about how and when, thru threw out through!)

She is most irritated at ignorance of basic punctuation. I usually try to keep her at bay, but sometimes she will not be silenced. Up she jumps, with teeth bared, screaming, “You never, never, never, use an apostrophe to pluralize!”

I’d like to say she is my alter ego, but in reality maybe she’s my ego. I know there can be a good deal of smug pride in believing you know something better than someone else. And I also know that “pride goes before destruction.”

I make typos every day on my Facebook comments, and when I’m texting. And in a recent blog post I noticed several mistakes minutes after I hit the publish button. (Don’t these people know how to proofread their work?)

And I know very well that the rules of grammar don’t allow for a sentence to begin with And.

Or how about ending a sentence with those three ellipsis-ish dots…

By the way, when did ish become a word?

And so The Grammar Grouch will come with tongue in cheek, and fun in her heart, but holding up a tiny little standard of hope for the preservation of our beautiful language.

“She who the pen of heaven will bear / Should be as careful as severe / Pattern in herself to know / when to stand, and what to let go.” (Thanks, Will!)